


when you wish upon the stars

by reptilianunderwear



Series: miracles aren't free [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: ??? Sorta, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Magical Boy AU, all i know is pain, there's kissing and fighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-26 07:36:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4995895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reptilianunderwear/pseuds/reptilianunderwear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>you'll find that all your dreams come true</p><p>(just not how you want)</p>
            </blockquote>





	when you wish upon the stars

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd because i just wrote it and dont feel like sending it to my beta so :/// point out any mistakes pls!! i didn't even reread this lmao

            _i._

            Kei remembers when they made their deal. They did it like they did everything—together. Yamaguchi had shivered beside him, his breath fogging up in front of him like the cigarette smoke they sometimes see Tanaka puffing out to try and look cool in front of the younger students. Kei had said his wish out loud, unashamed and trying his hardest to be nonchalant. Yamaguchi had crouched down to whisper his into Kuroo’s floppy ear. Kei remembers staring at the curls of dusky hair peeking out of his jacket collar, and how soft they looked in the streetlamp’s glow.

            They had been young—only second years in middle school. Far too young to be out on the street after the sun had fallen, and far too young to know what they would trade their souls for. Kei wishes now that he could take back his wish. If he could, he would go back and damn Akiteru instead of save him. He would go back and wish for money and power. He would wish to be safe from everything. He would wish for Yamaguchi to be safe from everything.

            The night had been cold and Kuroo warned them that they would be on their own from then on, but Yamaguchi had just grinned sheepishly. He had Kei, after all.

            _ii._

            Kei remembers when they killed their first witch. They did it like they did everything—together. They were magical boys for a week before they tracked down their first labyrinth. Yamaguchi had leapt around clumsily, his middle-school body unused to moving in the flappy tailcoat and dangling ribbons his new uniform was made up of.  The little green pellets he shot from his slingshot made up for their inaccuracy with power, sending shockwaves through the labyrinth. Kei rode them out like a surfer, swinging his chains around as if he had been born with them in his hands. He vowed never to admit to Yamaguchi how he kept getting his arms tangled in the links and passing it off like some fancy move (Yamaguchi found out anyway).

            There had only been one grief seed dropped once the witch fell. Kei had made no move for it—his soul gem wasn’t clouded, he didn’t think. Kuroo had told them not to let it get too murky, or there would be consequences. Neither of them had asked what those were.

            Yamaguchi had picked it up gingerly, reverently, spinning it slowly between carmel-colored fingers. Kei remembers staring at them, watching how delicately they held the gilded grief seed and thinking silently, to himself _what I would give to be that grief seed_. The thought had caught him by surprise and he had tried his best to bury it in his mind.

 Yamaguchi had tossed him the seed, and Kei caught it with one hand, his chains dissolving into light along with his own buttercup-yellow vest and jacket. The thanks go unsaid between them, but they both get the idea.

Kei wishes he could go back and give Yamaguchi the seed. He wishes he could go back and tell him never to give away a grief seed like that again.

              _iii._

            Kei remembers when they met Sugawara for the first time. They had done it like they did everything—together. Kei had bristled, wary of the newcomer (it had been a year since they made their contract. They knew other magical boys existed, but never dreamed they would meet another one. It had always been just the two of them, and Kei didn’t like change). Yamaguchi had calmed him with a whispered “ _Tsukki!_ ” and had bowed politely, gently pulling Kei down with him by the wrist. Kei remembers how the skin there had lit on fire at the feeling, rough, calloused fingers brushing against his pulse. He had hoped, then, that his friend couldn’t feel it quicken.

             Sugawara had introduced himself, and Yamaguchi dove into conversation as easy as one slipped into water. Kei remembers a pang of jealousy and a sudden urge to turn and leave right there. But before he knew it, Sugawara had invited them over and Yamaguchi was looking at him with those big, green eyes and Kei had gotten fucking _lost_ in them. A mumbled “yeah, whatever” later, and he was seated in a stranger’s apartment with a plate of sweets, an offer to join up as a team floating above the pastries.

            Kei wishes he could go back and decline. He wishes he could have pull Yamaguchi up by the hand and taken him as far away from Sugawara Koushi and his stupid ideas of “magical boys sticking together” as he could get.

          _iv._

            Kei remembers they first kissed. It had been sloppy and messy and full of clacking teeth, but they had done it like they did everything— _together_. It was a wild, spur of the moment, we-almost-died kind of act that left Kei breathless and weak.  

            Kei remembers this most of all. He remembers the smell of battle sweat, the metallic tang of blood that had run from Yamaguchi’s nose and onto his lips, the primal monster uncurling its wings in the pit of his belly and demanding _more, more, more_.

            Yamaguchi had giggled when he finally pulled away, his hands still cupping Kei’s cheeks. Kei had blinked, dumbly, his mouth still puckered from the kiss. At the ripe age of fourteen he had faced more witches than he could count, and almost died half that many times, but he still wasn’t prepared for his best friend to grab his face and kiss him. It had felt _amazing_ but Kei couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t move either, his hands frozen awkwardly at his sides, his feet planted firmly on the ground. His uniform dissolved without him realizing it, leaving him in regular school clothes and feeling incredibly drab compared to Yamaguchi’s elaborate uniform.

            “Close your mouth,” Yamaguchi had said, eyes crinkled up as he grinned softly. “You’ll catch bugs.”

            Snapping his jaw closed, Kei broke his trance and leaned forward, closing the gap between them and kissing Yamaguchi like he’d wanted to every since he’d hit puberty and started to see everything in a new light.

            Kei doesn’t wish for anything to change.

            _v._

            Kei remembers Yamaguchi. This is not Yamaguchi. It can’t be. It’s horrible and repulsive and swirling with a sickly feeling of incompetence. Not good enough, the landscape whispers in a distorted chorus of Yamaguchi’s thoughts. The world goes red and Kei lashes out, swinging his chains and gripping them like a lifeline. He’s screaming, but he doesn’t hear it. He doesn’t feel the sticky blood flow from his brow, and he doesn’t feel the hot tears roll down his face. He only feels the fear, and turns it to rage.

            “ _What have you done to Yamaguchi?!_ ” The mantra spills from Kei’s mouth as choked sobs, his blows furiously attacking the witch with Yamaguchi’s voice.

            _Never good enough_ , the labyrinth sings back. Kei shouts, and goes for a final blow. But there’s nothing to fight, only an explosion of fire. It’s a grotesque red against the inky hues of the witch’s lair, and Kei’s shouts are drowned in the blast.

            Kei wishes he could have known. He wishes he would’ve never made the contract with that fucking cat. Yamaguchi would still be here if he hadn’t made that wish. What could be worth this? It wasn’t worth this.

Atop all of that, Kei wishes he could have said the things that hung like fog between them, all the words that he danced around out of fear, all the things left unsaid and hopefully understood. He wishes he could go back, just once, and say _Tadashi, I love you._  

 


End file.
